Even more beyond the OFNOGs… 

towel.jpgThe Towel Princess

On a feminine beauty scale from one to ten, this gym employee rates a 5.1 and is obviously tired of being hit on by every single guy who walks into or within one quarter mile of the place.  It has gotten so bad (in her 0.1 focused mind, anyway) that the only way to deal with the constant threat of having to turn down spontaneous marriage proposals and throne abdications is via pre-emptive strike: hyper-rudeness to everyone at all times.  After all, you can’t spell “customer service” without a “what the hell is your problem, pal, can’t you see the extra towels are over there?”  

chucklers.jpgThe Clustering Chucklers

Nothing gives these old gents greater delight than a non-stop exchange of cliche-rific one-liners first thing in the morning, each more rip-roaring than the last.  Nothing, that is, except to do it in front of your locker, effectively blocking you from doing anything but enjoying their wacky routine.  Side-splitting, time-consuming topics include church cookouts, baldness, and “where Barney’s gotten to these days, haven’t seen him around much, probably got sick of his wife’s cookin’ an’ took off a-hur-hur-hur”.