rustyredrock.com

(recovered from the old site)

OK, fellow consumer-bots, since the holidays are upon us I have decided to post my thoughts on getting in and out of a big-box store as quickly as possible.  This is a team effort, by the way - people need to help others as well as themselves to make this a little less hectic for us all.

How you can help others:

• Park in the first spot available. Don’t stalk around the parking lot at 1 mph for 30 minutes looking for an ever-so-slightly-better place to park.  Just walk the extra 200 feet or so. Let’s face it: we could all use the exercise.
• Dont back in. Nothing will raise the bile in those behind you like seeing those reverse lights come on and having to watch you creep into your little sanctuary.  Unless you are there to rob the joint and will need to make a quick getaway, just park the thing.
• Bring Cash or a Bank Card. No performing arcane checkbook rituals (looking for the checkbook, asking for a pen, asking “Is it the 11th or the 12th?”, forgetting that they will ask for ID, getting the ID, confirming that, yes, that is your home phone number, etc.).
• No Exact Change.  I cannot stress this enough.  Unless the sheer weight of the extra 57 cents in coins will make or break a successful trek back to the car, get out of there and reward yourself with a soda or something instead.

How you can help yourself:

All checkout lines are not created equal.  Oh, they may look like they all contain the same number of carts piled with stuff, but noting the differences in the checkout personnel will get you through a lot quicker.  Here is a little list on how you can make the right choice before you commit to a line.

• Automated vs. Manual Checkout: Let’s face it, the only person who knows how to use one of these things properly is you.  Not the guy who is getting his Master’s in “Checkout Theory” in front of you, that’s for sure.  But, hey, if no one is there because they are all too frightened to use it, go for it.  Otherwise, continue down the list.
• Two Cashiers or One: If two cashiers are at a register, one is a trainee.  This sounds obvious but you may not notice until it is too late.  Avoid at all costs, and make the next selection:
• Male vs. Female: Choose female.  The guy cashier is probably filling in for someone while they are at lunch or whatever.   After that, he will be back to his duties in the stockroom. For some reason, women are about 10 times faster than men at cashiering.  (They are probably 10 times better at most other things as well.)  Moving on:
• Young vs. Middle-Aged vs. Old: Middle-aged, definitely.  The young ones don’t care enough and the old ones care too much.  The Middle-aged ones are all business, for the most part.  Next:
• Happy vs. Grumpy:   Go for Grumpy every time.  The happy ones will want to chat you up (and everyone in front of you), but the grumpy ones just want to make everyone go away as quickly as possible.

So, you have gone down this list and still have too many lines to choose from.  Now what?  You do this:  Close your eyes and picture everyone left as contestants in a Spelling Bee, and choose the one that you think (using whatever metrics you care to employ) would come in first place.  It sounds strange, I know, but give it a try anyway.  I think you will be pleased with the results.  If not, you can still enjoy the stunning articles in the Weekly World News while you wait.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Well, I am out of here for a few days, so I have bumped up the Prize Pool to $7.50 (plus the corkboard) and the Charity Pool to $7.50.  Feel like giving the puzzle a try?  Click here.  Good Luck!

  Person Somehow Surprised That It’s Hard to Not Buy Chinese

I don’t think I would have used the words “fruitless battle” in the article.  I think “ill-conceived self-promoting scheme stating the obvious” fits better.  What’s next, refusing to buy anything that occupies space and has mass?

I won’t go into this since I have written about it in the past (search term: Chinese). Hope that kid has a nice Christmas…

 Queen Guitarist Named University Chancellor

I didn’t know what to be more surprised about - that Brian May’s doctorate is in astrophysics or that he is 60.  Man, I have wasted (and am still wasting, apparently) my life.

 Researchers Torture Moths for Science

This “robot” uses the brain of a paralyzed moth to control… something.  I am not sure what, really.  Anyway, the contraption gets my vote for “Most Karma-Damaging Solution to a Non-Existent Problem”.

The Prize Pool is now $6.00 (and the corkboard, of course).  The Charity Pool is $6.00.

What am I talking about?  Go to the Puzzle Page via the link on the right or just click here.  Good Luck!

 In Boston, You Don’t Need a Warrant

Boston police will ask parents in high-crime areas to let detectives search their children’s bedrooms for guns without warrants in a new anti-crime program.

Nothing builds confidence in the American Dream like undercover agents coming to your door and asking if they can have a quick look around…

 My 2008 Atlantic Hurricane Prediction

Every year around the first week of December Colorado State University comes out with their prediction for storm activity in the Atlantic.  And, every year, they are pretty much wrong, wrong, wrong.

Ok.  I am not a meteorologist.  I am not a statistician.  I appreciate that predicting the number and intensity of hurricanes many months in advance borders on the impossible.  But I seem to be the only one that is concerned that rough guesses are just the best we can do.

Here is a list of the number of named storms, hurricanes, and CSU predictions for the same since the year 2000 (data from the CSU site and other sources):

                 Predicted                       Actual 
Year       Named   Hurricanes  Named   Hurricanes
2007       14                 7                     14               5
2006       19                 9                    10               5
2005       11                 6                    28                15
2004       14                 8                    15               9
2003       12                 8                    16               7
2002       13                 8                    12               4
2001         9                 5                    15               9
2000       11                 7                     15              8

The average number of named storms was 15.6,  and the average number of hurricanes was 7.8.  The average prediction error for named storms was 32%, and the average prediction error for hurricanes was a whopping 45%.  And this is the best we can do.

Using these numbers, this is like me prognosticating to the world (via CNN, The Weather Channel, etc.): “There will be somewhere between 10 and 20 named storms for 2008, and between 4 and 11 hurricanes” and being lauded for it.  Although this “prediction” would be  87.5% accurate over the last 8 years, it would also be 100% useless.

I can’t think of too many instances where that margin of error would be even remotely acceptable. Picture filling out your taxes with sort of attitude.  How about doing the payroll for your company?  Telling the judge that you were going 55MPH - plus or minus 45%, of course - is not going to be well received.  The list goes on.

So, can I do better, you ask?  Probably not, but it’s a lot more fun to complain about stuff other people do than to do stuff yourself.  No, wait…

Actually, let’s see if we can do better.  New Poll: How many named Atlantic storms will there be in 2008?  You can vote on the right.  I am voting for 14 named storms.  Because of, um, El Nino, and, um, cloud seeding from forest fires and other well-thought-out junk like that.

 French Guy Good at One Math Task

I did not know that having the barely-an-X-man-like ability to take the 13th root of a 200-digit number also grants you the power of hyper-narcissism… 

Sorry I haven’t been posting lately… Busy.

 Puzzle is now worth $5.25 (and the corkboard).  Link is on the right… Good Luck!

The Prize Pool is now $4.00 (and the corkboard) and the Charity Pool is $4.00.

Click here to check out the puzzle.  Good Luck!

The fridge guy is coming over today.  Actually, he had already been here on Tuesday… too bad no one was here to greet him (Sears neglected to cancel our previous appointment).

Sears said that they could not pin down the time for the repairman to come better than “between 8 and 5″ today so I had to skip work.  I had comp time to cover it, and this is starting to become a desperate situation so I had no choice, really, but to stay home all day and play Saint’s Row.  I finished all the missions.  Whee. 

A cooler in the garage is the temporary larder.  I am very glad the temps have dropped to below freezing for the past two nights.  BTW, if you want to get out of the habit of snacking (but not out of the habit of opening your fridge every 20 minutes), break your fridge.  Works great.

Update: Fridge guy just called.  He will allegedly be here between 2 and 3PM.  Nice.  Like I said before, I give the Sears rep a 30% chance of being able to fix the problem while he is here.  I was told by a guy at work that it may not be the compressor… most likely it is the starting capacitor or the compressor relay.  We will see…

Update 2: Sears Surprise!  Not only did the guy determine it was the relay and not the compressor, he had the part on hand (his last one), and he is throwing in a condenser coil cleaning since they screwed up the scheduling.  I watched the process and it is pretty quick to fix - so quick, in fact, it is almost embarrassing that I was leery about trying it myself…   Next time I will know.

Update 3:Sears Un-Surprise!  Of the $250 “insurance” we had on this repair through Sears (no repair would cost more than that) , it cost $249.06!  God, I hate them so much…  At least we can start moving the sodas in from the garage.

The Prize Pool is now $3.00 (and the corkboard) and the Charity Pool is also $3.00.

Click here to check it out.  Good Luck!

 Newspaper Circulation Falls Again

Man, it would really stink to have the job of the guy who has to “turn this industry around”…

 Mount Kelud Starts to Erupt

This volcano erupts , on average, every 33 years.  At leat 100,000 people living near (or on) the volcano have been evacuated over the past month (some at gunpoint). 

What is FEMA’s plan in case you live with one of these in your backyard (AK, WA, OR, CA, HI, AZ, WY), you ask?  What is the government doing to protect our children from lave flows?  Click here.  I am disappointed to see that “duck and cover” is not in there somewhere.