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Yep.  I got one.

Yep.  I’m blowin’ off mowin’ the lawn to play Dirt.

Why don’t they have computers that can do a good job of translating speech into text?  Or even text from one language into another language?  It’s because people rely on an amazing number of contextual cues and clues to decode even the simplest messages and machines (for now) just can’t process gibberish as well as we can.

Where am I going with this? On the way out of town, I noticed this sign at the side of the road:

Wow.  Which are the nouns?  Which are the verbs?  There are so many horrifying ways this missive could be decoded.  Any way you slice it, I am going to be very, very not there on November 10.

Another sign we saw on the road this weekend proudly advertised (in giant, black, spray-painted lettering on a 4 x 8 sheet of plyboard) “SWEET POTATOTOES 4 SALE”.  Ok.  I am not the world’s greatest speller, but, damn.  The sign looks pretty weather-beaten so there must have been plenty of time for friends and loved ones to contact Cletus and gently point out the error.  Or at least applaud his efforts and encourage him to flip over the sign and have another go at it.  Unless “potato toes” are some sort of local delicacy unknown to me and then I am just showcasing my ignorance, of course.

Unfortunately, we passed the sign too quickly to get a pic, but I am looking forward showing you the local gardening center’s yearly “GREAT PANSY BLOWOUT” signage.  In my head I always hear it in the same tone as you would say “Great Caesar’s Ghost!”  I will make sure I capture that one when winter comes.

So the good news is as long as we all keep talking and writing in a “Oh, you know what I mean!” style, the machines won’t be able to rise up and destroy us so quickly.  They’ll all be busy trying to figure out what the hell those crafty humans have planned for November 10.

Hunter’s Stock Picks portfolio has been updated.  He has sold all of his BIDZ (Bought at $8.50 and sold at $13.46 for a whopping 58% gain in 3 months) and used the money to buy 578 shares of Gander Mountain (GMTN) at $5.41.  

With fees and leftover cash included in the calculation, he is currently 5.6% down since 070107.  To compare, the market is up 3.7% over the same period… He’s got some catching up to do…

Good luck, little dude!

I am out of town for the next couple of days.  I will be posting some new stuff when I get back, including the Hunter’s Stock Pick update where he got very, very lucky.

The framework for Puzzle 04 has been established - yes, it will be another 3-D puzzle. This time it will be made out of wood. Well, mostly wood.  It shouldn’t take us too long to put it together, so stay tuned, genius-people. 

Oh, yes, and I may own an XBox 360 by the end of the weekend.  But since I have said this before, don’t hold your breath.  It’s a toss-up between Saint’s Row and Dirt for my first game…  I won’t get Halo 3 (I am not ready to be Humanity’s Last Hope just yet.  Maybe when the price drops a little).

I refuse to get any golf games, so TW ‘08 is out.  I don’t like the way the computer players vacillate between nincompoop mode and god mode.  I only bring this up because I got my first hole-in-one playing Hot Shots Golf 4 on the PS2 recently, only to have my opponent immediately follow up with one of her own to even the score.  I had to invent levels of swearing that transcended mere “naughty language” and I reached an anti-Zen-like state the likes of which would be the envy of any berserker (or even that Angry German Kid).

See ya in a bit.

 Huntsville, Alabama, to Reopen Bomb Shelters

They are using a $70,000 grant to provide room for 20,000 people.  I think this is one of those “the living envying the dead” scenarios…

 iRobot Develops Automated Gutter Cleaner

Sah-weet!  We own a Roomba, Scooba, and Dirtdog, so you can bet I am gonna get me one of these!  I can understand the color choice for the Looj, but why is the bag so un-manly?  (Sheesh… listen to me… Next I’ll be complaining that it doesn’t fetch errant Frisbees.)

New Poll!  It’s on the right!

Also, another OFNOG was spotted today!  This one (like a previous one) was spotted at the bank of sinks, his towel slung garrishly around his neck.  The counter has been updated.

Remember Hunter’s Stock Picks?  Well, now that the market appears to have stabilized a bit we are going to actually be making some changes to the portfolio (if you have no idea what I am talking about or you just want to check out his portfolio, go here)

We are going to change out all BIDZ (Bidz.com) and replace it with as much GMTN (Gander Mountain) as possible.  This will be done using the prices at the close of market on Friday (not after hours) . By committing this early, we limit the “accidental cheating” danger inherent in doing this.  Look for the page to be updated Sunday.

On a personal note, I think this is fiscal suicide.  A real bonehead move.    I mean, he is already down 10% (it used to be over 20%)… I think his advisor (father) needs to lay off the smack.  I hope I am wrong.

Man, has the news just been nuts recently or what?  2007 is rapidly turning into 1968 (with fewer assassinations and more gizmos, of course).  There is a lot of unfocused-yet-easily-accessible rage everywhere now that every Joe-24-pack that can manage to fashion a tinfoil hat has been given a bullhorn/soapbox called the Internet. 

In the olden days (20 years ago) you would have to listen to scores of gibberish-spewing drunken hobos over a period of weeks to get the quantity and quality of nonsensical vitriol available to us now -  mere keystrokes away. 

Read More »

I have written more on the Elevated Garden Project.

You can get to the write-up from the Projects Page (link on right), or by clicking here.

 Mattel Apologizes for Blaming Toy Defects on China  

There are two links above:  One from the New York Times and one from a Chinese news service.  Read them both. It’s neat to see how the “same” facts are worded. 

And then read this Newsweek article:  It explains, on a global scale, why Mattel is even bothering to apologize.  It syncs up very nicely with my August 9th post (at the height of the anti-China news blitz) Commies Killed My Puppy.

On a company-sized scale it is important to realize that Christmas toy production is rapidly ramping up and millions of units that cannot (economically) be produced elsewhere are being cranked out overseas.  If that were to stop suddenly, kids all over America would wake up Dec. 25th to find that Santa had actually left them the stuff that is always sticking out of the top of his bag: a candy cane, a toy soldier, a wooden train, and a dolly.  (Shudder)

The solution to the last puzzle (Puzzle 03: Quilt) has been posted on the Puzzle Archives page. You can get to it from the links on the main puzzle page or jump directly there

We are currently working on the new puzzle.  I am pretty sure we are going to go with another 3-D version that we will include as part of the prize, but we will see.  Keep checking back!

 One Canadian Dollar = One American Dollar

Wow.  I never would have thought that some day Canadians would be cursing getting an American dime mixed in with their change…

Puzzle #03 (the quilt puzzle) has been solved!

The winner of the $61.00 prize pool and the quilt is daveh.  The contents of the Charity Pool will be sent to Excalibur Leisure Skills Center, Inc. as soon as I finish writing this post. (Actually, I am going to be mailing a check tomorrow.)

A new puzzle is in the works, so hang in there, everyone.  Shouldn’t be too long…  I will post the solution and whatnot in the Puzzle Archives section real soon.

Again, Congratulations to daveh!

 Peruvian Hicks Panic When Tiny Meteor Hits

200 people claim to have been sickened by “toxic fumes” coming out of the 65 foot wide, 15 foot deep crater.  Paranoid savages!  If this happened in the U.S., people would be calm, dignified, and attempt to sue the sky for emotional distress instead. 

 No link here.  I was just thinking that my 6-year-old nephew has never known the U.S. not to be at war with someone (Taliban, Iraq, etc.).  Weird.

 Northwest Passage Now Open

Patience is a virtue.  So is not giving a damn about the planet for several hundred years, I guess.  Won’t anyone think of how Santa must feel right now?